My name is Philippa

I wrote the following on November 7, 2015:

I am sitting with my laptop on my lap ready so here I go, “My name is Philippa and I suffer with severe depression.”

Does that scare you?

Does it make you feel awkward?

Is your instinct want to change the subject?

The subject of depression does affect people in these ways but it’s also okay to be honest.  You can leave and go back to your comfort zone or you can read.  If you decide to read it may help you to understand better.

Depression still has a stigma, depression sufferers still suffer in silence, people still commit suicide because they are at rock bottom.  Me?

Well yes, I have suffered with depression for most of my life but have only been open for the past ten years.  Why?

I didn’t understand that I did suffer with depression for several years.  At 19 years old I had my son – that’s another story which will be touched on – and I knew I was suffering with post-natal depression.  But. It didn’t stop there.  I still suffered in silence.  I was expected to get on with my life and act as if ours was a well-adjusted family to the outside world.  But.  I still couldn’t talk about how I was really feeling.  I was just ‘moody’.  I was a ‘drama queen’.  There were people far worse off than me.  Silence.  I put on my mask and got on with my life.  The alternative?

Death.