I was relieved to get the first jab done which didn’t hurt so will get the second one a minimum of three weeks later but probably more likely twelve weeks on. My sister is still waiting for hers but I hope she does soon. My brother in law got his jab done weeks ago as he is that much older than us.
Unfortunately I am very severely depressed for a variety of reasons and I have lost the battle to keep fighting back at it. Even without living through a pandemic I don’t want to see my doctor as I’m all talked out. Doing CBT is boring and I’ve done it a few times so can fly through it ‘saying the right things’. Ultimately nobody can say or do anything to make the pain any better, nobody can change my past, nobody can make one person apologise to me. I have made plenty of mistakes in my life, who hasn’t?
It’s one thing dealing with my own mistakes but why should I suffer for what someone else has done to me?
I am so tired of life, tired of existing, tired of pretending I’m okay. There should be more to life than just going from one day to another knowing I’m one day closer to dying. Having pets make each day bearable, being married to someone who also suffers with depression is a challenge.
We have had to put up with an idiot neighbour for a few months due to him accusing us of different things. Apparantly we have 10 cats when in reality we have 3 1/2 – one has two homes as one of her sisters lives across the road hence the 1/2 – my husband is a wife beater and a couple of other things. The ‘screams’ he’s heard have been when I have fallen and yelled out for help getting up or when I’ve yelled at our dogs as one was ill so could be aggressive at times. She has since passed on and our other dog has calmed down.
Since then the neighbour as claimed our dog barks 24/7 which isn’t true because we wouldn’t put up with it. When we leave him to go shopping or the health club. Our friend, who is owned by our eldest cat’s sister, will sit with him for 10 minutes so we can slip out or sometimes till we get home. If our dog does bark our friend will check to see if there is a reason but our dog doesn’t bark continuously even then. We suspect the idiot neighbour upsets him by walking past our home but we can’t prove.
The neighbour has threatened my husband then had the cheek to ring the police and claimed he was threatened. On that day he hurled abuse at me after the call as I had gone to our car to get a mobile. What he didn’t know was I had set my mobile to record so when the police came out we were able to prove this. The police weren’t impressed that he had made a claim up then was abusive towards me after his phone call.
Right from the first incident the neighbour has been parking his van where we normally park up just to annoy us. He’s has filmed us going from our car to our home, been very noisy and has been spying on us so when we’ve gone out into the garden or come home from an outing he will stand at his gate staring at us until we go in.
A few days ago his van went so we have been able to park up where we have wanted to and he has stopped his bad behaviour. I’m not completely convinced that he’s seen sense that his behaviour has been bad. It could be true or it could be because he has cancer. One of our immediate neighbours recently died due to cancer, yet, he was a lovely neighbour.
I’m still struggling with depression but I am getting there slowly with being motivated.