anxiety
Difficult Few Months
The past six months have been stressful for a few months to say the least.
On the 6th May we had a minor accident at a roundabout and we were stationary waiting to be able to get on it. The driver behind us wasn’t concentrating so pulled forward resulting in his car hitting the right side of our bumper including breaking the cover of the lights. Fortunately he was honest, we swapped details then went on to walk Bandit. Getting the insurance companies to do their bit was straight forward so getting the car repaired was done quickly.
At the time I went into shock but not how I expected as I went very quiet. A few days later I started feeling pain in my right shoulder – Bandit had gone into the right hand side of me when the accident happened. The pain went across to my left shoulder and down both arms which was annoying. I had seen the physiotherapist at our surgery but the exercises she sent me hadn’t helped. Another visit to the physiotherapist was arranged and I was asked what I wanted her to do. Before I could say anything suggested seeing a specialist.
A few days later I saw a doctor at a different medical centre of the medical group we are patients of. The doctor was helpful and had a sense of humour. At one point he asked me to stand and try an exercise asking me if I would hit him trying to do it. I looked him straight in the eyes and said, “No but I might just punch him” meaning Rick.
At least it was taken the right and the doctor laughed. He thought the problem was either rotator cuff injury or a frozen shoulder and said he would be ordering a scan. Needless to say I’m still waiting.
From that life went rapidly downhill. I got to the stage I couldn’t get out of bed without help or get dressed or undressed without help. So the care team worked quickly for me which included getting an electric bed to help me, a commode, a raised toilet seat for me to make it easier for me to use it and a shower seat. We already had shower grab handles and a slope up to our front door.
Up until recently I had two carers coming in – one in the morning and the other in the evening.. I still need some help getting dressed which depends on what I want to wear and sometimes getting up but compared to the worst time it’s much easier to get on with what I like. The only thing I hate is getting in and out of the car.
Struggling with depression
Lately I have been suffering with severe depression which, in turn, has affected my sleeping. It’s soul destroying not getting enough sleep as well then anxiety has kicked in as well. Of course it’s also made me very snappy which I’ve been trying to curb.
Today has been particularly bad due to having changed energy supplier. We were with EDF who are a nightmare to deal with at the best of times but being on pay as you go as well hasn’t helped. Yesterday was day one of being with Utilita so I made a payment online as it suits me doing it that way. By this morning the credit still wasn’t showing and at about 11am the electricity went off completely so we had to make a phone call. After waiting about 50 minutes we finally spoke to a real person who then had to deal with the situation his end. Eventually the electricity came back on and the credit was showing on the account.
The one good thing that came out of it was that the emplyee made sure that it has been noted on my account that we are disabled which helps with getting priority treatment. I don’t like playing the disability card as a rule but I don’t think my mental health can cope with energy problems too often.
Dark days
I don’t think anybody realized how much COVID-19 would affect our daily lives or how it would globally. On a personal level my anxiety levels have gone through the roof quite a bit. One day, in the early days of lockdown, I had a mini meltdown in Tesco as there was hardly any cat food and what was left was expensive. The next day we went to Darlington as our car needed a new MOT so we went along to the closest shops for something to do. We went into B&M and I was very relieved that there was plenty of cat food there so went back when we collected the car.
Going shopping was stressful when there were stricter rules so more often that not I was wearing a mask. Some days it was unbearable as the weather was so hot. More recently I read about Hidden Disabilities which sell lanyards, cards and other stuff. It helps shop staff aware of people who may need extra help but people can also now buy face mask exemption cards. Legally shops, public areas such as railways etc can insist that people still wear masks. The only place that has insisted that we wear face masks has been our health club but that’s only till we go to the changing rooms and the same leaving.
Both of us are still struggling with depression even though we are getting back to some kind of normality. Neither of us like being out too long but I’m hoping when we go on holiday that it will help our moods.