mood
…. and so it continues
My mood is going further down and the periods when I feel happier are much shorter. The slightest thing darkens my day although it’s probably too many little things that have built up over the years that have cummulated to be a big deal now. Things such as ….
- being constantly talked over
- constantly being interrupted
- the constant talking when I am doing absolutely anything including dealing with the important stuff in life
- the constant repetitice teasing which got boring years ago
- getting the blame for things that are beyond my control
- constantly having to listen to one person’s prblems and hurts yet when I try to get support I’m ignored or it causes a row because I’m a woman / women cope better / nothing is worse that what this person is going through
The list could go on but the reality is I’m getting emotionally put down and getting to the point of sealing my shell with me insidr in it. Aftr all the years of hard work on my part to build up my self confidence, self esteem and trust are being smashed to pieces again.
Continual tiredness
I am very fed up of feeling tired all of the time regardless of whether I’ve had a good night’s sleep or not. Days seem to blur into each other so I have to remember what day it is. Waiting for deliveries doesn’t help and we don’t know when we will be having our second jabs although I am just happy we’ve had our first ones.
It seems like when I think my mood couldn’t get any lower something happens and it gets worse. I know the pandemic doesn’t help and we are limited in what we can do but I have enough to keep me busy. It doesn’t help and now I’m falling into the bad habit of not wanting to eat. That wouldn’t be so bad if I lost weight like I used to but that doesn’t happen now and I put weight on.
I feel like I’m on a slippery sloop that I don’t want to fall off ….
Mood not great
Well the second lockdown is finally over but most of the country seems to be in tier 3 or 2 – we’re in tier 3 – so it doesn’t feel like much has changed. I was at church this morning even though I had to motivate myself to go. It was good to see people I haven’t seen for a while.
One potential light at the end of the tunnel is that we may be able to have Christmas dinner at Tindale Crossing as usual. We will know for definite on the 16th December – it’s nice for me as I don’t have to spend so much time in the kitchen. Being waited on is an added bonus.
Lately it’s been bothering me that I have suffered sleep paralysis a few times. I didn’t even know that I had suffered it until I googled a film and read on wikipedia what it was about. Up until then I thought I had had some vivid dreams of not being able to move or speak. Now I know what’s really happened I know if it happens regularly I should ring up my GP surgery. It’s a very scary experience to go through