mood
Not such a good break
Last Monday we went to Ayr for a short break but it ended up being stressful. When we got to the caravan the key wasn’t inside so we had to go to the reception. The receptionist we spoke to wasn’t exactly the most helpful or polite one we have ever met. We were given a key fairly quickly but while we were waiting another customer was complaining to another receptionist. She had arrived an hour earlier and was still waiting for a key. She even said at one point she couldn’t believe there wasn’t one key anywhere on the site for the caravan.
We got back to our caravan to eat and relax as we were tired. The next morning we went out and found out that it was the wrong key so went back to reception only to be told they couldn’t guarantee when we would get the right key. By this time we were getting irritated to the point I said our holiday had already been ruined by the attitude there. We found out later there were several new members of staff and there had been numerous complaints. We’ve been there before but without any hassles but decided to go out anyway.
Returning back to the site the key had been given to security for us. It was a relief the ‘new’ key actually fitted. I was still fed up and my mood worsening.
On Thursday we went to the Isle of Arran having bought the ferry ticket the day before. Arriving at Troon we found the ferry had been cancelled and had to go to Ardrossan, fortunately we had enough time to get there. We then found out on the journey that ferries were being cancelled due to severe weather warnings and to go back on a return journey after getting off the ferry. There was no room to do the return journey so we had about an hour on the island. This meant getting a coffee each then waiting in the car,
Due to the weather warning we came home Thursday instead of Friday. It was just as well as the weather was already getting bad at home. It doesn’t feel like we’ve been away and it’s one holiday I want to forget.
My mood hasn’t improved – it’s got worse – and it’s hard to put on a happy face at the moment. I haven’t slept well for over a week now so it was a good excuse to use this morning before the parent / carer and toddler group.
Busy times
The past few months have been busy generally. It has included a short break down south to see family which I enjoyed as it’s lovely seeing the great nieces and nephews.
Since getting back church activities have been slowly started back up again although these stopped due to C0VID-19 which is also before we started going there. Since we’ve been going there the whole church building has had a great deal of work down on it.
The once a week cafe on Thursdays started up first and is going well, the mother and toddler group started on Monday morming and the ‘leisure’ morning started on Tuesday. Three of us went in to do a bit of re-arranging in the kitchen rather than play games.
Messy Church will officially start in October once a month but on Sunday afternoon we went to the village green to set up activities, had goody bags with leaflets and gave out hot dogs. It went well and the children enjoyed themselves.
We are going to have a break next week and have a few days away. I am really looking forward to that as I’m so tired although the two of us having colds hasn’t helped. We still have a MacMillan coffee morning to get through yet which is on tomorrow.
My mood hasn’t been great recently either as there doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day. Hopefully the few days of enforced will help with that.
The Joy of Spring
My mood has been up and down over the past month although the one thing that has had me smiling without effort has been seeing lambs. There is something almost magical about them and as the weather has been good they seem to be growing quickly. There have also been some calves to watch as well but we seem to see far more sheep than cows around here.
Village life suits me much more than living in a town as I love the countryside. It doesn’t matter which direction we go it’s great having villages and countryside.
We’ve got a Motobility car now although we still have the other car. The new one is automatic which makes life much easier for me as my hands are getting worse. Whether we keep the other car long term is another matter but it has been MOT’d today anyway.
…. and so it continues
My mood is going further down and the periods when I feel happier are much shorter. The slightest thing darkens my day although it’s probably too many little things that have built up over the years that have cummulated to be a big deal now. Things such as ….
- being constantly talked over
- constantly being interrupted
- the constant talking when I am doing absolutely anything including dealing with the important stuff in life
- the constant repetitice teasing which got boring years ago
- getting the blame for things that are beyond my control
- constantly having to listen to one person’s prblems and hurts yet when I try to get support I’m ignored or it causes a row because I’m a woman / women cope better / nothing is worse that what this person is going through
The list could go on but the reality is I’m getting emotionally put down and getting to the point of sealing my shell with me insidr in it. Aftr all the years of hard work on my part to build up my self confidence, self esteem and trust are being smashed to pieces again.
Continual tiredness
I am very fed up of feeling tired all of the time regardless of whether I’ve had a good night’s sleep or not. Days seem to blur into each other so I have to remember what day it is. Waiting for deliveries doesn’t help and we don’t know when we will be having our second jabs although I am just happy we’ve had our first ones.
It seems like when I think my mood couldn’t get any lower something happens and it gets worse. I know the pandemic doesn’t help and we are limited in what we can do but I have enough to keep me busy. It doesn’t help and now I’m falling into the bad habit of not wanting to eat. That wouldn’t be so bad if I lost weight like I used to but that doesn’t happen now and I put weight on.
I feel like I’m on a slippery sloop that I don’t want to fall off ….
Mood not great
Well the second lockdown is finally over but most of the country seems to be in tier 3 or 2 – we’re in tier 3 – so it doesn’t feel like much has changed. I was at church this morning even though I had to motivate myself to go. It was good to see people I haven’t seen for a while.
One potential light at the end of the tunnel is that we may be able to have Christmas dinner at Tindale Crossing as usual. We will know for definite on the 16th December – it’s nice for me as I don’t have to spend so much time in the kitchen. Being waited on is an added bonus.
Lately it’s been bothering me that I have suffered sleep paralysis a few times. I didn’t even know that I had suffered it until I googled a film and read on wikipedia what it was about. Up until then I thought I had had some vivid dreams of not being able to move or speak. Now I know what’s really happened I know if it happens regularly I should ring up my GP surgery. It’s a very scary experience to go through