Living on the dark side

“The black dog” is a traditional metaphor for depression but lately I’ve been using “living on the dark side” as it’s a more accurate way to describe it. It started soon after my shoulders and back pain started as I was frustrated with not being independent and for being constantly being reliant on others. Even though I am more independent it’s still frustrating needing support with changing clothes unless they are loose fitting, opening packets, bottles, jars and tins. I can’t use the oven part of the cooker so rely on Rick for putting food in and taking it out plus he has to get plates out for me. Using the hob, air fryer and microwave are easier.

We are going away in a few weeks time to Clacton-on-Sea for a few days and I’m dreading the journey as it’s not far of 300 miles. We both want to see family and will have five nights to recover from the traveling and get prepared for the journey home. My brother-in-law is in poor health and will be 90 in November so we don’t know how many times we have left to visit him. My sister has her three daughters and their families for support which is a relief.

In the meantime I am trying to get back to some normality as I haven’t had the concentration to get on with doing things I enjoy. It’s hard going as I tire easily. It’s hard for people to understand that particularly when the problem is mobility. Going through it myself has given me a better understanding. Even when I broke my ankle I was still cooking, dealing with meals without help etc.